His grace is sufficient... for motherhood

 

 The Lord desires that we would have peace and joy in the midst of the chaos of life. It is unrealistic for mothers of young ones to have consistent "quiet time with the Lord". In fact, that's a rarity. That doesn't mean that we can't find our calm in the storm of everyday parenthood. It's more than reading the bible or a devotional- it's turning our hearts to the Lord minute by minute allowing Him to fill us. The grace that saves us is sufficient enough for motherhood as well!

Good Morning Grace

 

I feel so refreshed and renewed. The Lord definitely restored my vision for motherhood, strengthened me, and poured out His supernatural patience upon my parenting once again. His timing is so perfect. I really needed some time away from the children in order to clear away the fog, refocus myself, and be reminded of God's promises and truth.   I was reminded that God's grace is sufficient.  His grace is sufficient enough to pull me from the depths of sin and death and place me in the righteousness of Christ.  I know that, but I forget that motherhood falls underneath that category as well.  His grace is sufficient enough for my parenting. It is not up to me to save my children.  Only the Lord has the power to transform their hearts, not me. I didn't have the power to transform my own life. It was only transformed through His mercy.  I am a fool to believe that I somehow hold the keys to my own children's salvation. We are all works of grace, no matter what our upbringing. It is a miracle any of us are saved, whether we come from a religious home or not.

Sometimes I forget that grace isn't this thing that happened when I was saved and now it's all up to me. No, grace keeps on giving. I throw myself upon the mercy of God, believing His grace is sufficient, that His power is made perfect through my weakness. If that's true for me, it's true for my children as well. Parenthood is a daily picture of gospel truth- how we want to be good but we struggle to be good and sometimes we can be good on the outside but our hearts are still self-centered and self-serving. We waver between pride (when we feel like we've "been good") and despair (when we see how incapable we are).  My children are such mirrors of the soul-struggle that goes on within me.  No amount of sticker-charts, rewards, additional rules, check-off lists, or step-by-step parenting formula is going to transform their heart.  Those things may change their outward behavior but will never show them the grace of the Father.  More likely, those things will teach them that their goodness earns them something (which is contrary to the gospel).  They will learn to be people-pleasers, idolizing the approval of others (even their parents), rather than relying on the grace of a merciful God who holds the power to transform us from the inside out.  

Parenting is exhausting when we are focused on being the perfect parent and producing perfect kids.  Christian parents may try to shove scripture down their children's throats and force them to stay awake through a church service, but that's not going to save them.  No, they will come to believe if they go to church every time the doors are open and can quote scripture off the top of their heads they are "pleasing to the Lord". What we've managed to do is turn the approval of God into an idol. God isn't any more pleased by our self-righteousness and man-works than He is by our rebellion. 

In the book Give Them Grace, Elyse Fitzpatrick writes, "Our keeping the rules or not keeping the rules doesn't really count for anything before God. The only thing that counts is belief that Jesus died for us and after that responding in love for God and each other."  Morality doesn't save us. Morality doesn't heal us.  Only God holds that power.

I don't want to teach my children that they are only pleasing to me when they are obedient.  God doesn't desire outward obedience. He doesn't tell us to "get it together".  He beckons us to come to Him, to rest in Christ, to cease from our own works (striving to be perfect), and to simply surrender every bit of our lives to Him. I know this is probably really confusing for those who don't understand scripture.  The bible certainly can seem like a list of rules.  If that's what we believe it is, we've missed the mark and overlooked the beauty of the gospel.

Grace doesn't mean that we overlook rebelliousness, it means we show our children that we too have rebellious hearts, that we too are broken and in need of a Fixer.  We reveal their lostness and point them to the Savior.  We don't beat them over the head with scripture ("The Lord says to obey your mother and father, so you'd better obey!"). We lead them to the foot of the cross where sin and grace collide, where man's works cease and Christ's works flow through us as a result of gratitude and surrender.

I felt like the Lord reminded me once again to let them see my weakness:

   When you fail, don't hide it. Let them hear you cry out for My strength as you stand at the kitchen sink, overwhelmed by the noise and the chores left undone.  Let them witness your request for patience, let them see you surrender your pride as you kneel beside them and ask for their forgiveness when you have been short with them. Tell them the testimonies I have given you- how I strengthened you when you were weak, how I poured out My supernatural patience upon you when you were at your wits end, how you asked Me to dissolve your anger and I did, replacing it with love and compassion.  Share how I won your rebellious heart.  Let them hear you sing praises.  Let gratitude overflow from your lips and allow them to witness your thankfulness in all things.  Be quick to share answered prayers, even for the smallest of things.  Let them see that Mom needs grace just as much as they do, and it is readily available in immeasurable bounty to those who turn to the Savior.

5 months

Molly Jo Jubilee hit the five month mark this last week.  She's quite the wiggler, making it more difficult to take photos of her, but she still loves hamming it up for the cam. She's rolling over, trying to sit up (but flopping over), and jabbering a lot. She loves gnawing on her feet. They make the perfect chew toys when you have those two bottom teeth popping through!  She's bright-eyed and beautiful (and this mama ain't biased!).

Gluten free, week one.

I realize some people think we're nuts because we are always changing our diet. I've been gluten-free, raw vegan, vegetarian, and a list of other things at various points in my life.  Why do we change what we eat so often?   Well, we start out doing great, but then something happens- a big move or a major event (like our daughter's brain surgery)- and we're just scrambling to survive so eating healthfully takes a backseat.  We end up eating out a lot, and then the whole lifestyle diet change goes out the window because, like I said, we're just trying to get through the moment.

Then we get through the moment and realize we're completely exhausted and feel like crud because we're not getting adequate nutrition and we're eating junk. We go back to the drawing board and get ourselves back on track.

I'm really thankful that my mom raised me to be aware of how my body functions in regards to my food, and how to adapt the family diet to deal with health issues. My mom is allergic to wheat flour and my dad has Celiac Sprue.  As a kid, I had trouble with diary, and, while I can now handle certain dairy products in small amounts, other dairy products (and too much dairy in general) will have my throat closing up and rashes forming along with, um, some quality time with the toilet. (Fun!) All of our children, save for Nolyn, also have dairy issues as well.

My husband has gone gluten-free at various times in our marriage, but we recently came to the conclusion that it would be best to to GF as a lifestyle change rather than just a diet. (Previously, we did a specific GF diet to cleanse our bodies of yeast which was overpowering our systems.)

When I was in the chiropractor's office, I came across this article tidbit which really pinpoints what I came to understand and why we're doing what we're doing.  It was a debate between Vegans and Paleos in a health mag, but I can't remember which.

"There is a dizzying ocean of literature in the field of immunology, gastroenterology, neurology, and metabolic science pouring out right now and underscoring the adverse impact of grains in all these areas of health. I would also say that there is a lack of grasp of the depth and breadth of gluten's devastating influence over more disease processes than I have room to list here (no fewer than 55 diseases are known clearly to be associated with grain consumption).  The undeniable connection between grains and every manner of immunological, inflammatory, neurological, and physiological disease process is literally overwhelming and deeply, deeply troubling.  It is literally a public health catastrophe.  According to the journal Gastroenterology, the incidence of full-blown celiac disease (the mere tip of the gluten-intolerance iceberg) has increased 400 percent in the last 50 years alone.  No one who lives or breathes anywhere on this planet has a 'grain deficiency'. . . but countless millions suffer from the myriad potentially devastating effects of grains on their health, many of whom don't even suspect the underlying culprit.  What is 'extreme' is not the avoidance of grains but their unprecedented and unnatural prevalence in our modern food supply."

[Nora Gedgaudas]

In the beginning, I decided it would be best to avoid making my favorite glutened things with gluten-free flours and such except for on rare occasion.  I committed to making our meals full of naturally gluten-free goodness.  This also makes it cheaper to be on a gluten-free diet as all those alternative flours can kill a budget.

Green beans and sausage

Salad with radishes, onions, carrots, tomatoes, salami and turkey

When I first decided that it would be good to go gluten-free, I weaned myself off of "bread yumminess" by allowing myself one gluten item a day for a while.  Previously, it was in about every meal we had in some form (flour-thickened soups of gravies, battered and fried American fair, tortilla wraps or sandwiches...).  I realized it was a bad idea to be eating something so often, which is another reason why I felt it would be good to cut it out for a time.

We've now been officially gluten-free for a week, except that I've cheated twice. I had a tortilla wrap sandwich once when I was in a situation where there wasn't any GF options (although I could have removed the tortilla and eaten it as a salad, I suppose), and yesterday I just had to have a piece of my granny's chocolate crunch cake that she made for our birthdays.

Even with my cheats, I've noticed several things from my first week.  I had been really bloated and (hi, TMI) gassy for a couple months and- BAM- first day without any wheat, the bloat went away along with FOUR pounds.  That's a lot of water weight to be holding on to. Secondly, in addition to dropping those four pounds, I have also lost an additional pound from just eating healthier and, yeaahhh, not making cookies and cakes on a daily basis.

I also started the 30 Day Shred back up. My calves ached for several days after my first work out, but I know if I stick with exercising regularly, I'll eventually be able to make it through a work out without my whole body screaming at me.  The kids really love doing work outs with me, so we're calling it Homeschooling Physical Ed. :)

I know a lot of people who have gone gluten-free just to "try it out" and stuck with it after realizing gluten was the cause of other issues. My friend (and midwife) Nanci noticed her migraines completely disappeared once she cut gluten out of her diet.  Her daughter, Emily, says that gluten causes her eczema. Another friend, Ana, realized that gluten was the culprit behind several minor issues, like a burning feeling in her nostrils that had really irritated her, among other bigger problems.  For my mother, I think she said that wheat causes her to experience chest pains that make her feel like she's about to have a heart attack. My dad's stomach would go insane over just a Cherrio. 

Really, I figure we don't lose much by cutting gluten out of our diet even if we don't think we have a gluten problem. After being GF for a month or more, many realize that gluten (or wheat) is cause of various issues they never would have pinned on gluten or wheat.  Many have found cutting out wheat helped them lose weight they had not been able to get rid of for years.

I'm sure some of you are also gluten (or wheat) free. If so, what changes in your health have occurred since removing it from your diet?

Birthdays!

My birthday was last Tuesday (July 31st).  I'm forever stunned by how fast times flies. When I was a kid the days were painfully slow, and now they just speed by.

I was extra blessed on my birthday. Usually they come and go without much fanfare, but I felt like I was really spoiled this year.

Some really good friends of ours took us to this amazing steakhouse here in Houston called Taste of Texas. If you're ever in North Houston, I recommend stopping in this place. It's not cheap but it's delicious and the service is fantastic.

Nanci had mentioned to the waiter (when we were first seated) that it was "Mandy's birthday", and the waiter remembered my name the whole evening.  He brought out a dessert tray for me to choose my free birthday treat!  Most restaurants have some cheap cake they give out as a free dessert for birthdays or you have to purchase a dessert yourself, but not this place. They even take a picture of you with your birthday treat, print it out and present it to you in a card at the end of the meal! I tried this triple dessert thing which had Creme Brulee, Key Lime Pie, and Snicker's Pie.  It was so yum, and yes, I shared with everyone!  Highly recommend this place!

Terry and Nanci's daughters, Heidi and Emily, babysat the kids (except for Molly Jo Jubilee), so we had a quiet dinner! I even got sort of dressed up for it, and did my hair "all purty"!

Hubby's birthday was yesterday.  I normally struggle with what I should get him for a birthday gift, but I knew exactly what he wanted (but felt guilty about buying for himself), so it was easy this year!  

He had been wanting a LifeProof (waterproof, etc) case for his iPhone, so I got him one along with a couple shirts from his favorite store (pretty much the only place he buys clothes from- Nautica). Some wonderful friends came over that evening, and we shared a wonderful dinner together with lots of great conversation.

Next month we'll be celebrating Evangeline's second birthday and Keagan's fifth!