Step out of the boat

I’ve been thinking about Peter, out there, on the water…. in the storm. When he saw Jesus walking on the water, he asked, “If it is you, Lord, let me come out to you.”

Jesus said come, and Peter stepped out of the boat onto the the wild waves.

I think it’s about time we step out of the boat. When we step out of the boat, Jesus can show his power through us. When you ask Jesus to use you, like Peter did, Jesus will and in a big way.

I can imagine Peter out there, in the midst of the wind and water, likely a bit nervous about walking out to Jesus. He takes his eyes of Jesus, and he begins to sink. Maybe he regrets asking to come out on the water. Maybe he forgets Jesus is right there.

How many times, when we’re going about our day do we forget that Jesus is right there, and He is in control. How many times do we take our eyes off Christ and begin to sink? (I admit, I do it on a daily basis.)

One more thing. One of my devotionals mentioned Jesus could have stilled the seas from the shore, but He chose to come out on the water to his disciples. Why? He’s a personal Savior. He’s not distant. He’s right there with us all along the way.

Just something to think about!


Have a very Thoughtful Thursday!

With a grain of salt

Here’s a bit from a post I made in my own personal diary in 2005:

Henny Youngman once stated, “Answers are what we have for other people’s problems.” In my search for solutions in my own life, I have found this to be most true.

I have plenty of theories. However, theories are simply made up of assumptions, grand schemes, and pure speculation. Theories are suspicions with no proven results. It’s strangely humorous that, so often, I have given suggestions for one’s situation which I would find hard to follow if in the same position.

Why is that? Why do we have all the answers for someone else’s issues, but when it comes to our own dilemmas, we draw a blank (or, we attempt to follow our own advice which leads us into even more frustrations, stress, and complications)? It just goes to show, even the best laid plans can crumble to pieces.

Fill My Quiver

What if God told you to do something that you previously viewed as absolutely ridiculous? What if people ridiculed you for this conviction and called you foolish. What if your pocketbook said you couldn’t afford it, but God said he’d make provision?

Once upon a time, God whispered in our ears, “You say you trust me with your salvation, but you don’t seem to trust me with your money. How is it you feel you can trust me with your eternity, but you don’t fully trust me with your finances?” So we began giving. We knew God didn’t need the money, we knew our finances were tight, but God told us to obey… and we did.

Then God whispered to my heart again. “You say you trust me with your salvation. You say you trust that Christ is enough. You say you trust me with your finances, but why don’t you trust me with your fertility?” You see, God had given me a vision of a large family while I was pregnant with our third child. The thought of it excited me and scared me. Once Keagie arrived, I thought, “I can’t go through this again!” I loved the last few months of my pregnancy. I was thrilled we were able to have an unassisted homebirth. I loved the little infant in my arms, but I just didn’t know how I would survive those first several months of pregnancy. I had “all day sickness”. Coupled with draining sinuses and allergies, I was constantly throwing up and gagging. I felt horrible, confined the couch, cringing at the happy giggles and shouts coming from my children because loud noises made my head pound even worse. I wasn’t about to take care of my family. If we were to continue having children, how would I care for the ones outside of the womb while trying to nourish the one inside?

I tried to justify things. God didn’t want me to be sick while trying to care for multiple children, did he? We’d have more children, eventually…. when we were ready. Maybe once we got out of debt. Maybe once we remodeled the living areas. Right? I mean, eventually! My husband talked about getting the “snip snip”. We figured, if we changed our mind and desired more children later, he could always have it reversed.

Besides, hadn’t I once laughed at those who believed God should be in control of their fertility? Didn’t I have a dozen statements to explain away their convictions? Did God give us condoms and birth control pills and tell us to control it ourselves? If he really wanted me to have more children, it could happen, even if I was on a form of birth control, right?

Oh, and what would my family think? What if they thought we were being irresponsible?
Once again, as He had many times throughout my life, God reminded me, “It doesn’t matter. My will matters. Obey, and I will bless your lives more than you can imagine.”

I sighed. After months of praying about it, I decided I needed to discuss it with my husband. I feared he’d think I was nuts as, previously, we had both decided we were “done”. I brought it up casually, and to my surprise, he agreed. I realized that God had been working in his heart just as He had been working in mine.

So, don’t be shocked if you hear we’re pregnant again.. and again.. and again. We love the blessings we’ve been given, and look forward to many more! Please, keep in mind, quiverful isn’t about the number of children one has- rather, it’s about allowing God to have full control of your life in every area. Some quiverful families never have biological children, for some reason or another. Some have over a dozen. When we give our lives, every nook and cranny, to God… he will do amazing things!

December 6, 2012. 

I thought it was time to update this post since it's been almost five years since I wrote it. Since writing this post, we have four miscarriages and two more (living) children.  The Lord has used our journey to teach me many things.

First and foremost, this is not a law.  Do I believe children are a blessing?  Yes.  Do I  believe the Lord has called me to stop trying to control how many children I have (or don't have)? Yes.  Do I believe that anyone who doesn't have a bundle of children is in sin?  Absolutely NOT. 

Because, you know, it's not about how many children I have, how many children you have, whether you use natural family planning or nothing at all.  It's about the Lord.  Believe me, I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on this "quiverful" thing.

I now have several close friends who have believed the Lord in this very thing, so it definitely has been a blessing to not be "the only weird ones" (ha!), but I also have friends who love the Lord, trust Him in all things, and have been led down a different path.

I have friends who have trusted the Lord with their fertility in this way and have only one child (and some have none!), and friends who have six or even ten children!

One thing I have learned is that I am not to base anything on appearances.  In fact, I'm not to judge at all, even based on what I know as fact. Does it grieve my heart to hear people make comments to me about how many children I have?  Yes.  Does it pain me to know that people view children as a bother? Yes. But, you know.... life is not about those sorts of things.  

If I turn life into a rant about children and fertility, if I make it my Christian soapbox, I've missed Christ.

I do want to say that I have learned that I will never regret having another child.  I look at the faces of my children, and I think, "Wow, I almost stopped at two."  I feel so grateful that the Lord changed my heart and allowed me to carry more children within my womb.  I am grateful that we are a family of seven (as of this post), not because I think it's more righteous, but because I know that I am incredibly blessed, and I literally see what I would have missed out on had the Lord not intervened.

I have seen people make a stand about this point of fertility and make it some sort of god.  The thing is, we are to be completely submitted to God in all areas of our lives.  Who am I to judge someone when I struggle with submitting my emotions and my time to the Lord?

I have to admit that there are times when I feel like I'm "done".  I feel overwhelmed and exhausted, and I don't know what the heck I'm doing.  I tell the Lord, "I don't think I can keep doing this!"  In fact, I have said that while pregnant, worrying about how I'm going to add another child to what I feel is chaos!

Fact is, we all feel this at some point. We feel this when we have no children at all, when we're wrestling in our marriages or struggling at work.  We feel this when friendships are difficult, when situations look hopeless, and when we're remodeling our homes. This is not a feeling that only applies to parenting.  We feel these things because we're humans who desperately need the Lord, and these are the feelings that remind us that we can't do it on our own, that we are in need of Grace.

Parenting provides many, many, many of those lessons because our children are mirrors. They show us who we are, even when we want to pretend otherwise. They show us how wicked our hearts are, and as we're telling them about how much they need a Savior, we are reminded that we need One too.

Audios
We Hate Children (Sermon)
Anchoring Your Children in Christ (Steve Farrar, Conference- March 2000)

Articles & Websites on Family

We don't love Children, We love Drywall! (Generation Cedar)
Why Do I Have All These Kids? (Beth Jones, 9 children)
When Your Quiver Overflows (Stacy McDonald, coauthor of Passionate Housewives Desperate for God)
Ladies Against Feminism
No Greater Joy- Training Children
Raising Godly Tomatoes
Vision Forum
Homeschoolers Threaten Our Cultural Comfort

Too big for a bandaid

For the last few weeks, my thoughts have been in that third chapter of Genesis. I started reading this chapter when I was a child. It was the first chapter I went to when I learned to read. I took me a week, but I got through it, and I remember my excitement as I told my parents about it.

It’s been a long time since then, but I still return to that chapter… and I’m always learning something new. Three things I saw confirmed in this chapter:

1. God desires to have a very personal and intimate relationship with us.
2. We seem to forget, we cannot hide anything from God. It seems, even as Christians, we are still trying to cover up our sins.
3. A fig leaf isn’t big enough to hide our sins.

If you read this chapter again, you’ll realize that Adam and Eve did not know about evil until they ate of the tree. God told them not to eat of the tree because he did not want them to know the evil. He wanted to spare them the heartache. This tells me that God truly desires only good for his children.
Adam and Eve had a personal relationship with God. It would appear that they walked and talked with him. He wasn’t some stranger in the sky. I know this is what God had planned for us, yet our views of Him are skewed and our steps have wandered far from Him.

In Phillipians 4:8, we are reminded to think on those things which are true, honest, just, pure, and lovely… because those are the things of God. That is what God IS. He wants to take care of us. He wants to heal us, hold us, save us. He loves us so much, He sent His son to prove it, to make a way for us!

Imagine Adam and Eve in the garden. They eat of this fruit and realize they are naked. Now, they were naked before, but now they see themselves in a different light. They see their sin and are disgusted by it. They immediately try to cover it up, but their efforts were much like putting a bandaid on a severed limb. Not much help at all! Obviously, they still felt ashamed, even with the makeshift clothing.

Why do we think we can hide from God? He is all-seeing and all-knowing. We seem to forget that. He sees our sins, yet we don’t want to take them to Him. We hold back, ashamed to even admit what we’ve done. Then, once we’re confronted with it, we try to justify or place blame. He sees right through us. We cannot cover our nakedness from Him. There is no where we can hide our shamefulness.

God knew where Adam and Eve were, yet he still asked, “Where are you?” When they responded, “We are here,” they found a God who still adored them.

Maybe we hide from God because we know we’ve disappointed Him, and we feel He might not accept us back, but God loves us, and He wants us by His side. He knows us well, and He longs for us to trust Him, to seek Him, to know HIM well.

You don’t have to cover your sins from God. Someone already did it for you. Jesus died for you and me, and his blood covers our sins if you accept Him, if you give yourself to Him.

Jesus is better than any fig leaf or bandaid!